Stoptober

In which I wish October would end because as a month it sucks the big one. Buried Butch, my relationship broke up for the last time, no go backsys this time. To be fair despite ten years of history the relationship was a dead duck. It can just be really hard to see what's in front of you. This is a stupid post and I really have not much to say, but I'm alive, I'm upright and I'm still moving. I'm going to be ok. PS Connie is going super well and is much beloved in her new home, so thats a huge relief.

Where to now

It's so bizarre to think I'll never have this view again. Though I'm comfortable I made the right decision, I do miss the big guy. Its so bizarre to think this time last year I had two horses jumping 1.15m-1.20m and now I have one horse jumping 80cm. Tsar is in a boarding situation at the moment because its cheap as chips and he looks fantastic, his weight is perfect. It's been great because through all of this it has been one less thing to worry about. Had a lunge today in blustery weather and he was so naughty, much bucking and plunging. I elected not to ride him today and to crack on tomorrow. He is adorable though, such a sweet boy. 

It's just so hard starting again with a relatively green version. Tsar has been out and about prior to coming to me but he is still sort of green in his way of going and his outlook. Back into the baby jumping classes. It's also so stressful because financially I went to the bone for Butch and there is so little margin in my income. I'm not even sure how much I want to show anymore. I'm so jaded on it. But then without the incentive of showing I'm not sure if I will stay motivated. 

I have had the chance to jump a couple of client horses for my old boss and she has plenty of riding for me if I want it. It's been quite nice jumping small fences on other peoples horses and just having a play. It helps that they are both straightforward cute horses. I think I will just potter along until inspiration strikes

Vale Bitchly

So today I farewelled brother Butch and gave him a dignified exit. He ran an incredible xc in the weekend to finish 3rd in the training class. The weather for cross country was hideously old and horrible. Never before have I been galloping along like I'm so cold I just want to stop. Everytime I looked up his ginger ears were hard forward. He was a touch sticky on the way out in horrendous footing, but settled in amazing and never gave me a moments hesitation. Had a moment in the water when I overrode it thinking he would suck back and we jumped in like we were trying to clear the thing. 

People must watch me dressage and lol but he is such a phenomenal jumper it makes up for the fact we or usually about second to last after te first phase. It breaks my heart a little I didn't switch him to eventing earlier. He loves it so much. He probably would have been a three star horse before his body was all messed up. 

The deal is he wasn't sound. He was a one out of five off all the time, he didn't respond to the coffin joint injection very much and his feet are so brittle he needs to go on to glue ons which I can't afford, even though my incredible farrier offered me an unbelievable deal. So while he is sort of comfortable enough and functionally sound on this round of shpes he was going to be crippled. I have to remind myself of this because this means he went out still functional. He was so much more fragile than last season and I wonder how comfortable he was in his body. At some point you just have to stop throwing money at the issue and face the facts. I still can't believe it's real, that I'll never see his gorgeous pink nose again. To the best xc horse and hunter I ever rode. Love you bitchly, please forgive me.

When is it enough

Sooo is been a mental few weeks. I'm working long hours, and I'm really struggling to get to the horses. Obviously, in this situation Butch becomes the priority and Tsar can wait a little. It's only four weeks until daylight saving. Butch though. Oh Butch my darling darling boy. Why must you do this to me. So when he came back in from Winter his feet were a shambles, despite being shod, because he pulled most of his shoes. He has never had great feet though I haven't had too much in the way of issues with him, thy have come up in a big way. I started boxing him at nights to let his feet dry up and get harder, and to help keep his shoes on. This next reset he hasn't grown enough foot and so his already weak feet have too many nail holes.

My farrier wants to go to glue-ons and we are looking at scary large money for this. He can't go without shoes, he just cant, he would be so miserable. Two cycles with glue-ons and I should have a different horse, my farrier says he will love me for it and I trust my farrier implicitly. Here comes the dilemma. I don't have scary large money, and he already has this coffin joint issue, and he is such a tricky pony. I have quite a good understanding with him but he still is not an easy horse by any stretch. I'll never sell him and as a pasture puff he is just too high maintenance. You cant just pull his shoes and expect him to be comfortable and maintain his weight.

Still, I rode a little this evening and while he doesnt feel super he was ok and did some really nice work. I love him and I'm not prepared to knock the big guy over just yet. I'm struggling to find my enthusiasm for competing and riding anyway, which never happens in this part of the season. I should be champing at the bit, but my life is a bit of a shambles so I'm struggling with a slightly unsure future as well. It's a heavy weight on me. I guess the first few shoes will tell me if he wants to play the game. Showjumping the weekend coming and three weeks until the first horse trial.

Some Pictures

Happy Boys love the nights in their stables.

First jumpy jumpy in a very long time. So comfy back on this horse, but he is one of a kind to ride. Even my Trainer, who initially jumped him as a 6yo was like I forgot how hard he is to teach. Took a little time to adjust to his stride, but he stayed happy and relaxed for the whole lesson, in his french link snaffle which is a big deal.

That face!

Only about 1.10m but after the off season it looks humungous!!!

Rain

So Winter has turned up with a hiss and a roar with lots of cold wind and so so so much rain. Everything is soggy. It's hard finding the balance between conserving the grass I have, without having the cattle on so long they damage the pasture by pugging the soil. Bloody steers. The horses are good, stabled at nights and Butch always beats me to his box. Cute little sausage. He has such a big personality compared to when I first got him, he loves nose kisses and hugs. He feels decidedly ordinary under saddle. The front right issue is still there, so I'll get his coffin joint redone next week hopefully. Had a little jump today and he feels fantastic and his brain seems so much more settled this year. Still I don't know how long he will stay manageably sound to compete. Still it's early days yet and he isn't terribly fit.

Tsar has had a haircut and is picking up.They have also both had their teeth done and Tsar was qite sharp. He is so light mouthed I might switch him to a happy mouth bit. I have to get him travelling. In my lesson today the canter I need to make the strides feels super zoomy and outside the comfort zone for both of us. I think everything has been kept too quiet and safe and he hasn't developed a twelve foot canter. Laziest ex racehorse ever. More updates to follow I have to go to bed, I'm exhausted.

Bitchly` is Back/Tsar and Kate do some jumps

This post wont go in a time linear fashion just in a word brain vomit fashion, as 

I think something and then say it, in my usual nonsensical fashion. So my big red giraffe llama is with me now where I'm farm sitting, and its not been a great start. We left his back shoes off, because even though I shoe everything, I do like to rest their feet and my wallet. Still it was a stupid idea and I regret it in hindsight. The problem is it has been so wet and his feet have been so soft. He also managed to pull a front shoe after only three weeks. Last winter he lost quite a bit of weight over the winter so this year I have twisted my Mum's arm and she has fed him for me every day. Of course he rips down the one part of his paddock that is stony and so he had not a lot of foot when I picked him up. It got to the point that even though my farrier was coming, I had to hustle him up, because Bitchly couldn't walk, and was stood there trembling. I drugged him. He was much much happier the next morning with bute on board and after an emergency call my farrier came in and shod him. He has fixed him the best he can, now I just need to keep his shoes on for four weeks and get some growth. 

Of course, wet feet aren't strong feet, so guess who is being stabled for nights for the next four weeks. I very rarely stable my horses, 1- because I have never really had stables and 2- its a LOT more work having stabled horses. But for Bitchly I will do nearly anything even though he is basically worthless, the broken down old hack. He also has a funny lump on the side of his neck from under his cribbing collar, which I'm hoping isn't an abscess. I'll see what it looks like in the morning but it may be a vet job :/. I have an animalintex poultice on it tonight and I'll see if it draws. Hopefully having his collar off he wont do too much damage to the stables which of course aren't mine. I have ordered a miracle collar, because his old plain strap one is causing trouble lately despite years without issues. His wind isn't the best and I fear it is collar related damage. His throat anatomy is quite different to any other horses. I'll see how he goes this season, but he is definitely the most high maintenance creature I have ever owned.   

I finally got Tsar into town to have a lesson and jump him for the first time. He has a cute round jump and is careful, he never touched anything, though everything was only about 60cm high. He has a strange canter stride, he has minimal engine. He covers most of his ground in the moment of suspension, and has limited reach in front with his stride. Lots and lots of long and low to get his back rounder and loosen up his topline and hopefully increase his reach. He is a lazy beasty at the best of times. Spooked initially at a few of the fillers, he sets me up do the wrong thing a little bit. He wants me to flap at him, and he wants me to grab him on the landing side but I'm really not intimidated by him at all so when he gives me a really round jump and then gets his head down and bounds and threatens to buck I'm not that bothered, and I don't feel the need to grab him and give him an excuse to do something.

So the idea is I just need to set up the canter, keep it jumping across the ground, and then sit quite. Interestingly, after all the bouncy spooky stuff by the end he cantered down to the wall and jumped it super, so that was our note to end it. The next day I took him to a small show and he cantered clear around the sixty cm class, backed off the planks at fence three, but after that was very brave to all the fill and was super down the treble. He reminds me a lot of a horse I rode a long time ago that perhaps some very very long time readers might remember called Kruise. Also, how adorable is the old school drop noseband with the old school egg butt.

Kate was at the same show, and she was good enough to point out a few valuable lessons I had gotten complacent on. She only did the 90cm and the 1m class. She is a spooky old goat and I was really pleased with how she was jumping- straight down the treble which now had an ugly filler under the oxer in (it wasn't a small oxer either), and it wasn't an easy corner to get to it. She jumped the liverpool which she traditionally is not a fan of, and got a great ride down to the last double, which was an upright to an oxer and the oxer had a plank in it. The same as the planks we jumped at three. So after all the scary jumps, got the great ride down the bending line, landed over the first fence and she bloody stopped. My fault entirely, I didn't ride it enough, I took it casually, I thought I was home and safe, and was already planning my jump-off! Touche Kate, Well played. I have found I'm collapsing a little over the fences with my upper body and folding over my hands a little instead of giving a correct release. The weather packed up and I wasn't going to do the 1 metre class, but I felt I had something to prove.

In the warm up, she was hurling herself over the oxer and I thought maybe her knee was bothering her, but she wasn't taking any lame steps. I figured I would start the round and see how she went. She got into the ring and started beautifully,. She is such a different ride, liking room from the base of her fences and the more forward travelling ride, and she is a good one to practice the supporting but not driving leg because she can get hot (why is that so hard!!! and so different for every horse!!!! It's all on feel- stupid supporting without driving leg). Just rolled over the jump at fence five when I let the filler suck her down and she just knocked the rail. Still she was super down the treble, only did one funny leap (I had a brainwave, and realised she only did it when she was jumping out of a puddle and landing in a puddle-DIVA!) and even saved me when I couldn't see my distance to the liverpool.

Sometimes my focus wanders, and I found myself looking at the puddle that had formed around the liverpool and not at the top rail like I should. I ended up miles off it, and I didn't know if she would chip in or not, seeing as she hates puddles and liverpools. But she took the long option, I was a little left behind, but better that than getting ahead and her spitting me out. I gave her a big pat for saving me, though she owed me one after the stop!!! Down the final line she was awesome and when I focused on staying up in my shoulders and strong through my core, I landed much more balanced so I could keep my leg on and keep attacking the oxer out of the double, which she jumped perfectly. She gets in he air, the old bat, and it's been a treat to be riding her again. I think I might put her in foal for myself. She is definitely breeding quality. She has had her shoes pulled and its just chilling until I figure out exactly what happens next.

Speaking of shoes, Tsar had his feet done as well. My farrier is like the best ever, so I was excited to see what he would do, because he had some funky looking square front feet. Apparently, he as thin hoof walls, and he has been reset with aluminium plates and really fine nails to preserve his wall integrity. He is also been stabled at night to dry out his feet and I need to get some copper sulfate and scrub both of their feet. He isn't as chilled in the stable as Butch and he is a bit of a wild man when I turn him out. Still his feet look much more normal, and though I haven't had a chance to ride him yet I hope it will improve his reach in front. Sweet pony. Even if he does trash his stable nightly.