I think the time has come to sell Bill. Which is stupid and emented because she is probably one of the most talented horses I have ever owned and definitely could be an amazing eventer or showjumper, her effortlessness over a fence is just amazing. THe problem is she is a difficult wee duck and she needs lots of work and lots of structure but I just can't offer her tat at the moment. I'm desperately chasing my tail just coping with life and all the changes and I'm doing her a disservice.
It sucks, it breaks my heart. I feel like I'm failing her and myself. I have all these dreams of being a good rider but the reality is that I'm only very very average. We bred Bill out of my very favourite in the whole world horse, but in truth I don't feel I have ever realy developed a connection with her, we don't really fit together, she always went better with my sister whom adored her. I don't know, I guess I know she isn't really the horse for me, it just sucks to sell so much talent, when I want to be riding talent.Why are these decisions so hard? Realistically it isn't that hard, sell the horse you don't enjoy and get the one you want right. I already know whom I'm hoping to buy once she sells.
I really just can't help feeling I'm a massive failure. More and more it feels like I'm never going to make it.
Monday, June 4, 2012
Sell Bill
I think the time has come to sell Bill. Which is stupid and emented because she is probably one of the most talented horses I have ever owned and definitely could be an amazing eventer or showjumper, her effortlessness over a fence is just amazing. THe problem is she is a difficult wee duck and she needs lots of work and lots of structure but I just can't offer her tat at the moment. I'm desperately chasing my tail just coping with life and all the changes and I'm doing her a disservice.
It sucks, it breaks my heart. I feel like I'm failing her and myself. I have all these dreams of being a good rider but the reality is that I'm only very very average. We bred Bill out of my very favourite in the whole world horse, but in truth I don't feel I have ever realy developed a connection with her, we don't really fit together, she always went better with my sister whom adored her. I don't know, I guess I know she isn't really the horse for me, it just sucks to sell so much talent, when I want to be riding talent.Why are these decisions so hard? Realistically it isn't that hard, sell the horse you don't enjoy and get the one you want right. I already know whom I'm hoping to buy once she sells.
I really just can't help feeling I'm a massive failure. More and more it feels like I'm never going to make it.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
You mustn't feel like a failure. You achieved some fantastic things just recently. Life brings changes and although they throw us a curve ball we do go on. Sometimes we do have to make decisions about horses that have us questioning whats right and wrong ....trust me I 've been there done that.....some with regrets .....but look forward. you will get there!!!! and having a horse to look forward to is exciting
ReplyDeleteYou aren't a failure, she just wasn't meant to be. I wish you luck on selling her, and keep your eye on what can be, not what could have been.
ReplyDeleteI just did this. Sold my dream horse and bought my heart horse. It works out.
ReplyDeleteOh... :(
ReplyDeleteThere is nothing wrong with selling a horse you know isn't for you.
Above all, we ride because it's fun, because it makes us happy and complete. If your horse isn't making you feel like that then you know you aren't making her feel good either. Time for a new home. You won't regret it. :)
I think these ups and downs are just part of this getting better journey. I too sometimes feel like it's never going to happen but now I try to think more of day-to-day enjoyment of progress and find the journey inspiring and worth living through rather than only looking at the goals.
ReplyDeleteDeep down I really believe that if we think we can, we can and if we think we can't then we won't. The "can do" attitude, even if it means being is slightly childish denial helps with being positive and never let others (or oneself) tell you what you can't do...
Good luck with the sale and purchase of your next horse!