I had the most amazing hunt

The farm was beautifully prepared so there were heaps of jumps and there were hare everywhere. We didn't even get close to catching one but we ran and ran and ran all day. Blue and I were absolutely on the same wavelength and while it's probably the strongest he has been in the bridle, he wasn't fizzy or silly at all, he didn't even jig which at the end of the hunt with a pair of double Ds and a full bladder after 3 hours riding, is always very appreciated. He was pretty knackered to be fair but he just goes and goes and I would start thinking it was time to be hanging out of the hill for a while and he would get another wind. He was just fabulous and I had a blast. It's an amazing feeling to be galloping over beautiful country with the sound of the hounds in your ears and a good strong horse underneath you.

So anyway, what worries me most about the future is what I'm going to do with Bill really. She needs more time than I have to give so I would like to sell her, but she isn't an easy horse to sell. People need to realise you can't buy a super well trained sound athletic horse with her breeding for the price I have on her. Its a bit of a pick any three of the four on those options, and thats what you get for that price she has on her.

I had planned for one girl to ride her and in return for some of her costs I would take the girl, Bill, and the girls horse to shows but seeing as the truck will be sold I will be back to a horse trailer and two horses max travelling. Then my mate was going to take her, whom would be an amazing option because she is a phenomenal rider and a professional, but she is downsizing and looking to do it more as a hobby so that option was out. At this stage I'll just have to leave her until the days get longer and do it myself. Or try and scrape together some money for 30 days training, though that is basically dependent on my getting another job. A better, closer one.

A comment on the previous post talked about catch rides and I already have 2 two of those sort of in the works. One is a stallion that has jumped up to 1.20m I think and is really well bred and has an incredible temperament but has been lame and I'm hoping to bring him into work (if the owner thinks I'm good enough) and see if he stays sound. The other I was going to buy, but couldn't justify that as a non truck owning competitor, or really have the money seeing as Bill isn't selling. She is a 17hh chestnut mare (I have never owned a chestnut) that has jumped 1.30 a bit early. She needs lots and lots of schooling but gets up the air ok and wants to do the right thing over the fences and is really bold. She would be a good horse for me to try some bigger tracks on, but she would be for sale and so could go at anytime. Still never straightforward horse so I'm hoping to find time for them both as well as my two.

Man plans, God laughs

This title has sat on my dashboard for maybe three weeks and still I haven't managed to put into words whats happening because I still don't know. Everything is so up in the air. I desperately need better employment before I run out of money, I don't know what I'm going to do with Bill. There aren't many people who want a slightly difficult green horse funnily enough. Many many inquiries to her ad but nothing with any real intent behind it. It sucks because she is amazing, but I can't afford to send her to a trainer to get her fixed for myself, and I don't have the time to fix her.

I feel so freaking stuck. I just can't really see the way forward and anytime I start to get a situation sorted it all just falls apart again. Connie will need to come off the hill soon to start her fitness regime but thankfully this winter she hasn't gotten fat and living on a hill she still looks pretty fit. Hairy though having not worn a cover all winter. They all look like bears.

Trucky is in for repairs up to $5500 and then she will be sold to recoup those losses for my parents. So I'll be transport down, but we can survive this, I'll beg borrow and steal. Right now it feels like a good time to give up, to grow up and let go of the little kid dreams. I'd have money and time and I could do something else. I'd get to see my partner in times when there is still actually daylight. Easier sure, but I'm not known for doing things the easy way. There is still some fight in the old dog yet.