This title has sat on my dashboard for maybe three weeks and still I haven't managed to put into words whats happening because I still don't know. Everything is so up in the air. I desperately need better employment before I run out of money, I don't know what I'm going to do with Bill. There aren't many people who want a slightly difficult green horse funnily enough. Many many inquiries to her ad but nothing with any real intent behind it. It sucks because she is amazing, but I can't afford to send her to a trainer to get her fixed for myself, and I don't have the time to fix her.
I feel so freaking stuck. I just can't really see the way forward and anytime I start to get a situation sorted it all just falls apart again. Connie will need to come off the hill soon to start her fitness regime but thankfully this winter she hasn't gotten fat and living on a hill she still looks pretty fit. Hairy though having not worn a cover all winter. They all look like bears.
Trucky is in for repairs up to $5500 and then she will be sold to recoup those losses for my parents. So I'll be transport down, but we can survive this, I'll beg borrow and steal. Right now it feels like a good time to give up, to grow up and let go of the little kid dreams. I'd have money and time and I could do something else. I'd get to see my partner in times when there is still actually daylight. Easier sure, but I'm not known for doing things the easy way. There is still some fight in the old dog yet.
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Okay now you do have to step back and realize how much you have accomplished... bringing along multiple horses up the ranks (and Connie your unexpected superstar), graduating with your degree, getting over a breakup, moving and changing careers, and (if memory serves me) changing from country-horse life to city-horse life. THAT IS HARD :)
ReplyDeleteDon't give up, horses aren't a kid phase and I am sure that even if finances do force you to sell some or all, you have a knack for finding a ride. Like the foxhunter.
Plus who would I read about with my coffee.... this is my favorite horse blog.