VS
So its the start of July and the first shows are a couple of months away and it's a bit of a mystery what direct my season will take. I have really enjoyed my foray into eventing, though clearly my showjumping flatwork hasn't crossed over into dressage very well, yes the horse is soft and supple (not so much Butch because he is a work in progress and built all the wrong ways) but I'm not accurate and I don't do enough transitions. The thing is for me the sun rises and sets over coloured rails, and while eventing has showjumping, generally I'm like boop boop boop because its relatively small and the technicality is way low.
The issue is that Butch, super star diva that he is, is cooked on coloured poles and to keep him relaxed I have to go so slowly and the most collected rocking horse canter ever. And thats fine and great, providing I can take some inside turns to make up some time to avoid time faults in the jump off, I can't open him up to jump off and he isn't so nimble and sharp that he can take insanely tight corners. Though, cross country he is a lot sharper and nimbler but he is carrying more pace, and absolutely in his happy face.
The thing is XC scares the living shit out of me. I have watched a thousand head cam videos of rolex, and other really hard tracks to prove its easy and people do it all the time successfully. And that is perhaps helping (though it hasn't helped with my productiveness now I have an Evention addiction) but yea when I rode down to do my first Pre-Novice I was dry-retching off the side of my horse, and believe me, that is one way to get people looking at you oddly. I had a huge buzz after I finished but it wasn't until fence 20 that I relaxed and thought I might be enjoying myself. I have plenty of competition miles so I'm ok once I have the fence in my sights and I just ride whats in front of me, but waiting to start with all the different difficult questions on the course whizzing through my head it's terrifying. And I'm not competing a high level- it's 1.05m so around 3'5" according to the converter I just used.
I'm a little hung up on the two recent deaths in eventing. I have already broken like ten bones horse riding and while it's a tad inevitable, I would prefer not to break too many more and jumping solid objects at a good clip does change the odds. I guess deep down, I don't trust Butch's smarts and cattiness because as a showjumper he has neither, though XC and hunting he has never let me down. And I have jumped things hunting that looking back make my toes curl- port and adrenaline! I don't know if I should downgrade and run a training before going prenovice again, but everone who knows me and the horse thinks I'll be fine if I go straight out at Pre-Novice, though rider fences, trakehners, palisades etc still scare me, though I don't think Butch even notices them.
I will event him some definitely, because it's his happy place and I'm curious to see if it has improved his showjumping, and he has to suck it up and do some showjumping for me because that's my happy place. Perhaps, new man Tsar will be more the showjumper of my dreams and Butch cen be my hunter/eventer/play guy. I don't know, I think I probably need to take a harden up pill and stop being such a blouse, because I have a super scopey horse and I'm accurate and competent rider. Bluh.
It's a hard question for sure. There are things I like about eventing, but the XC is just not my cup of tea. Maybe I'll get better or maybe I just need to quit forcing something that isn't working. We'll see.
ReplyDeleteNo answers here.
Maybe if your not comfortable, go smaller? Like do silly small xc courses until you are looking at the bigger jumps enviously. XC is super scary to me, things just look bigger, wider, and harder out there. No shame in finding something, that most of us are too chicken to try, daunting.
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