The other side of the blade

I was thinking today as I rode the tail flagging, prancing snorting version of Connie how sometimes I miss the old version of this horse. She used to be so laid back she was basically dead and she didn't walk she meandered. She would break into a trot in front of fences and spooking used far too much energy to bother with. I was always told I would have to make her hot to be a goo jumper and I guess I have achieved that. It would just sometimes be nice to ride that old unphasable version that would stand and quietly watch other peoples horses go to pieces. The version I could hack anywhere and do anything on.

Now with her slim, trim and feed to the nines I have to be a little more careful. I can't just go anywhere at any speed. The buck and the rear can show themselves and they aren't that much fun. Mostly she is fine and rideable and it's all over-enthusiasm and play, though the rear is not cool at all. The one time I did as they say and hit her over the head she just went higher so I haven't repeated that. But then the kick back is that I have this horse who starts to attack her fences more, who is cattier and more athletic and can hold a really collected canter. The fat version doesn't collect- more pitches and rolls. I love the horse but when she is fit and on form she really needs to be treated more as an athlete than my favourite pony and I guess I miss acting the fool some.

She feels like a million dollars and honesty I can't believe I placed last weekend in the amateur. I thought with the pressure of needing to finish first or second I wouldn't cope but I was second and here we are. Depending how the weekend plays out I need to be first or second again against stiffer competition but why not eh. It's not completely out of reach. A top 6 finish would be like a wildest dream come true. Still showjumping is a sport of millimeters and a rail or a time fault and you are done. If it pours like it did last year in Hawera I'm screwed with the fair weather princess.

Bill is taking the back burner until I get packed. Apparently there is winter showjumping up here so I'm not too worried she will be ready to NZEF the coming season. Certainly didn't reach my goals with her, but learnt a valuable lesson about reading your horse and pain issues. It's all been so surreal and now moving is getting really real. I nearly cried when I had the farrier out for the last time. He does such an amazing job and he is awesome. Anyone in the Tararua/manawatu region who wants a great farrier call Crowley Forge. I'll have to make sure I catch up with him when I'm down visiting because he is such a great.

I'm moving away. Hard out. Packing is going ok, but it's three days until I pull out of the driveway not to return for sometime, to a new job and new life and a new social scene. Unreal.