Goodness me it hs been very very hot lately and my poor flabby excuse of a body has struggled ot adjust to physical labour again. I really need to lose some weight but like so many of us know, it's so damn hard! I'm such a suger junkie. Nevermind. Things are interesting here, I'm finding it very hard but I suspect I just need my depression meds again. I thought I would try without them, but it would seem I'm something of a lifer. I know as soon as my brain keeps repeating that I'm worthless and I want to cry all the time that I'm not ok.
The horses here are mostly lovely. I'm madly in love with this awkward ungainly fantastic chestnut thoroughbred called Butch. People have tended to let him down and he has ende up bit of a boomerang. If I had the money I would buy him in a heartbeat. Getting on him is like getting into bed with your favourite blanket, its comfortable and reassuring because he is just so incredibly genuine.
Onme mare I don't see eye to eye with because she was bottlereared and has a real chip on her shoulder. Even the babies and the poorly schooled sale projects all approach with pricked ears and are happy except for this version. That been said I get to compete her tomorrow which is a bit of a oh yay :/ I had my first show last weekend and mostly went ok, apart from the odd mistake and circle. I 1.10med Butch and a holsteiner cross called Erl who is lovely but needs more riding and skill and Butchy. Still by the end of the show it was a lot smoother just the odd mistake leading to four faults or time faults and the occassional circle where needed.
I'm also riding a young horse for my own friend/client who is a bit of a mongrel but a very very promising and genuine young horse. I have included a video of her for you to watch. She is still very awkward and needs more strength and schooling but she wants to do all the right things and feels quite scopey so I'm hoping to keep the ride on her for as long as possible. The only down saide is getting announced as Rebecca Presow riding U Honey which sounds a bit racy.
I'm getting heaps of saddle hours and I think if I wasn't getting so depressiony I would feel pretty positive about the improvements I am making.I really really miss having my good horse Connie who is out at the turnout block and may have injured her DDFT in her foot which is why she isn't improving despite having her feet rebalanced. That could take 8 months to come right which is sucky. My boss hates Anbdalusians and Connie stopped on her and pooped in a class at HOY once and wouldn't go despite strong persausion so is not her biggest fan. This meant I had a bloody good laugh the other day when she mixed up her fancy 4yr old Cassini filly with Connie. It is scary how alike they are to be fair.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Your doing so well, I know how hard depression can be my dad had it and seems to be over it and they thought at one point i was on the edge of becoming depressed. I look forward to hearing how the future shows go :)
ReplyDeleteI don't want to get too personal, and I don't know if you are on antidepressants but in case you are not, or are against them, I wanted to
ReplyDeletesay how much they had helped me.
I too was depressed for a long while, but didn't really want to go the 'medication route'. However, my husband was also diagnosed with depression and started taking antidepressants, and the difference in him was remarkable. Enough to convince me to give my prescription a go, and get past the first few days of side effects (nausea, zombie-brain). I'm so glad I did - I feel really, really good for the first time in years. Positive, resiliant, energised, and the side effects went away.
Anyway, my experience has turned me from a doubter to a believer re: antidepressants, and I want to support others to give them a go if they are not. Best wishes!
Sounds like things are going well for you! Lovely to hear and congrats on stepping up and following your dream.
ReplyDeleteYou could try taking 5-HTP and L-Tyrosine. Bit more expensive than a prescription for antidepressants, but they are precursors to seratonin and dopamine and help alleviate depression.